The Turkey group...

                  We had some interesting discussions last Thursday about Memed, My Hawk and the Turkish short stories.  The Turkey group did a wonderful job this last couple of weeks, and having Dr. Mirzeler in class was wonderful. 

                  The thing that stood out to me the most from the Turkey group was the discussions about honor killings.  Watching the documentary, hearing Dr. Mirzeler’s story, and then discussing in class last week has left that topic on my mind.  The way that honor killings tie in with Arab family relationships especially boggles my mind. 

                  If you ask almost any Middle Eastern person, I think they would say that one thing their many different cultures agree on and take pride in is strong family relationships.  Family members are expected to sacrifice themselves for the good of the whole family and the family “honor.”  The belief is that these selfless actions bring good to the whole family and build strong family ties between the members.  They do.  But these principles of “group-ism” can be taken too far.  If the good of the entire family becomes the primary and un-trespassable goal, then if one member messes up, his good (even his own life) may be sacrificed for the good of the rest of the members.  In other words, when a member is in the good graces of the rest of his family, everything goes well; but if he sins against the family honor, his “good” is no longer a consideration.  Even more, it is not usually a he, but only a she who can dishonor the family enough to deserve the death penalty.  These concepts are contradictory and do not leave room for unconditional love and forgiveness between family members.

                  These concepts make me consider the American family as well, and see many of the opposite problems with it, such as the selfishness of the members, the disrespect for other members (especially parents), and often the desires expressed to be away from one’s family. 

                  Not every family from either culture is going to display these flaws, but it is interesting to note how one culture can take a seemingly “good” thing- such as strong Arab families and American individualism- and take them too far until they become a flaw.